I am today sharing a little note from a couple that are very close to us, they do wish to remain annonymous as they are private people. Please respect that in your comments.
We wanted to raise awareness on the sad side when pregnancy doesn’t quite go how as planned when you see two lines on the test. We debated posting this on social media however felt it was still a bit too personal and private to broadcast to EVERYONE. Nonetheless we still want to raise awareness and bridge a gap between this silent grief so many have to endure. I didn’t want to share on social media, however I am happy for you to share my email with whoever you feel would either seek some form of comfort from it, or to raise awareness. Please read the below….
Not one to post much about myself or anything for
that matter I really debated whether or not I should even post this at
all. But truth is I know that I am not alone in my grief and many women
and men have been/are going through this heartache
Today would have been the day our baby was due to come into this world. March the 19th was meant to be the happiest day of our lives, but unfortunately it is now filled with grief, sadness and emptiness.
Finding out back in August that our much loved and
longed for tiny human no longer had a heartbeat was the most painful
experience I have ever had to go through. To be on cloud 9 just hours
before, to feeling like someone had just ripped
out my heart was such a strange experience and not one I would wish
Truth of the matter is sadly I know I am not alone.
In fact I am one in every 4 women who have to endure the grief of
miscarriage – and the reason I am posting is because of this. So many
women (and their partners) suffer in silence and
I hated that I couldn’t tell people what I was going through.
Miscarriage shouldn’t be something couples have to do alone and quietly,
it should be something that we can talk openly about and I want to
start by sharing my voice.
Whether I will ever get the privilege to become
pregnant again I don’t know, but for that too short a time I had, I
loved every second being a mum.
See you in heaven little angel, you were too good for this world. We will never stop loving you.
Now in my job I only get to see the happy outcome, but I know so many of my clients have been here – more than you would think. What I want to say is; just because not now, does not mean not ever. There is so much hope and so much support. Please don’t ever sit in silence – I am here for anybody that needs it and my door is always open. Support can also be sought from Tommy’s, one of my favourite charities. https://www.tommys.org/
I want to end this post on a positive with some beautiful rainbow babies that my clients have given the ok to share. Let these little faces shine a light.
The following words are written by a lovely client of mine about her own personal experience. Its honest and raw, its not dressed up and its not trying to hide anything away. And I am so glad she wrote it for me.
I’m sure some of you will be able to relate, and I’m sure someone will read it and realise there is help out there. Its just making that first step to ask <3
Motherhood. It’s all dinky clothes and baby snuggles, right?
Nope. Motherhood throws you in at the deep end of nappies, sleepless nights and
being entirely responsible for a small human, right when society tells us we
should be at our happiest. It’s enough to make you ill.
When I gave birth to my first child, she was both planned
and longed for. I held her moments after she arrived and waited for that
much-quoted rush of love to hit me. It didn’t come. What did arrive the
following afternoon as we brought her home was a wave of mild panic. I had
never been a mum before, I liked things predictable and ordered. I was out of
I got through the first few days on adrenaline, but after
that the sleep deprivation started to bite. My daughter only wanted to be held
and wouldn’t sleep on anything that wasn’t breathing. When my husband went back
to work after his two weeks paternity leave I sobbed as he left the house,
knowing I had to get through nine hours alone. Pretty soon I was avoiding
leaving the house, in tears every day and struggling to sleep. I even (and this
hurts like hell to admit) began to refer to my firstborn as ‘it’.
When my daughter was about two months old, I happened to
confide to my best friend that I was having trouble sleeping, and hallucinating
baby cries in my dreams. I’d hear them, jolt awake ready to hold her, only to
find her sleeping peacefully next to me. My friend’s next words changed
everything ‘I think we need to get you some help for postnatal depression’.
Simply naming it was a revelation – why had I not noticed
what I was suffering from before? I wasn’t crazy, or a terrible mother. I was
ill. The next day she literally held my hand as I called my health visitor and
began a four month route out of my depression. I started to venture out of the
house, and my health visitor set me up with a baby massage course to help us
bond. Gradually I noticed I was crying less. At seven months old when my
daughter first slept through the night, I did too.
One in seven new mums will experience some kind of mental health challenge. So will one in ten dads. I want people to know that this is not unusual and you don’t have to accept these feelings. There is support out there, from phonelines when you just need to chat, guides on how to discuss your feeling with your GP and social media pages when it’s 3am and you need to know you’re not alone. Contact your health visitor or try www.pandasfoundation.org.uk if you need a starting point.
I had such a fabulous 2018 – thank you all so much for your support and for keeping me so busy. Its already getting busy over in the studio as we start this year off.
Last year we had 51 newborns, 23 sitters, 25 cake smashes, not to mention all the maternity and outdoor family sessions! One of these days I will be organised and create a collage to include an image from every session I shoot..but for now here is a small selection of what I got up to in 2018 with my newborn and baby clients.
I am yet to shoot the first baby born in 2019, but they have arrived and will be in the studio next week! I do have a few spaces for sessions towards the end of January if you would like to get booked in.
I’m also toying with doing some little Valentines Minis…what do you think?!